


Unfinished Business

by Pheromone_Poisoning



Category: Donkey Kong Country
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:01:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23958877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pheromone_Poisoning/pseuds/Pheromone_Poisoning
Summary: Donkey Kong and his friends can always rely on Wrinkly's advice to get them through their adventures, but King K. Rool is fixing to put an end to that!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Unfinished Business

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a goofy little idea that popped into my head recently. Feedback is appreciated.

One morning, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong were sound asleep in Donkey's hut when the sound of cannon fire suddenly awakened them. They leapt to their feet and scrambled to peek out the window. Sure enough, the Gangplank Galleon was idling by the coast and the usual horde of Kremling kooks was marching into the jungle. The island's native wildlife—the elephants, giraffes and zebras—were rushing to escape the raining cannonballs.

"Welp, here he comes again," said Diddy, suppressing a yawn.

"Y'know, I _did_ think he was due to make his comeback sometime soon," said Donkey.

"That's fine by me," Diddy replied. "It's been, what, six years since our last adventure? I've been itching for a new one."

"You don't have to tell me twice," said Donkey, and with that, he grabbed his little buddy under one arm, jumped out of the hut and took off into the jungle, toward the beach.

  


"Did we pass the Mugly statues yet?" asked Diddy as he scratched his pate.

"Five times at last count!" said Donkey, frustrated. The duo had gotten lost as they tried to make their way through the foliage. "I swear, this place changes layouts every time we come in."

"Do you need a little help finding your way, dearies?" asked a ghostly voice.

Donkey and Diddy nearly leapt out of their skin, but it was only Wrinkly, who'd materialized before them with a puff of bluish smoke.

"Oh, thank goodness you're here!" Donkey said. "It feels like Diddy and I have been walking in circles for hours."

Wrinkly smiled warmly. "Not to worry, dear," she said. "Let Wrinkly show you the way."

She started to drift away from them, winding through the trees, leaving behind a trail of wispy blue fluff. Donkey and Diddy gladly followed her. Donkey's elderly mom could be a bit obtuse, but she'd never led the boys astray.

  


Wrinkly seemed to vanish just a few moments later, but that was all right. Donkey and Diddy knew they were almost out of the jungle. The foliage seemed to be thinning, and there was more and more sunlight poking through the canopy.

"Slow down, DK!" Diddy yelled, struggling to keep up with his much larger friend. "I think I saw a banana floating over that pit. Betcha anything there's a Bonus Barrel down there."

"No time, little buddy!" Donkey replied. "We've gotta stop K. Rool before he blasts the whole island."

Donkey pushed aside the last tangle of ferns and found himself just a few yards from the beach, the Gangplank Galleon looming high before him.

A gaggle of King K. Rool's usual goons—Kritters and Klaptraps, Krushas and Klumps—put on their meanest faces and started lurching toward him, but it was far from the Kongs' first rodeo. A few stomps and a roll or two later, Donkey and Diddy had knocked the crocs out cold and boarded the ship.

  


"All right, K. Rool, the Jib Jig is up!" Donkey yelled, inordinately pleased with his wordplay, seconds after breaking down the door to King K. Rool's cabin with a well-aimed barrel. "Stop blasting our island, or Diddy and I are gonna hafta stomp ya."

King K. Rool was sitting at his writing desk, looking smug. In front of him, there was a stack of parchments and an inkwell with a tremendous black feather quill that nearly tickled the ceiling of the cabin.

"Ah, Donkey Kong and company arrive at long last," said King K. Rool. "Please, have a seat. I'll have my chef mix you a drink. Let me guess: banana daiquiris?"

"Hey, he's not kidding around!" said Diddy, putting up his dukes. "We've beat ya tons of times before. We can do it again."

"Don't be so sure, my flea-bitten friend," said King K. Rool. "I have something truly special in store for you this time. Oh, yes! Once I've put my latest plan in motion, you goofballs won't know which way is up."

"Pfft, you always say that," Donkey scoffed. "Whatever you can dish out at us, we can take it."

K. Rool gently pushed the stack of parchments toward the Kongs. "Is that so? Why don't you have a look, then?" he said.

Diddy stood on his tiptoes and tried to grab the parchments, but King K. Rool's desk was too high. "What's it say, DK?" he exclaimed. "Are those the blueprints for another Blast-o-matic?"

"Doesn't look like it," said Donkey, puzzled, as he leafed through the parchments. "This looks like... geography homework."

"Huh? Let me see that," said Diddy. He grabbed the document and started skimming. " _Keith Rool, period three geography, Mrs. W. Kong,_ " he read aloud. " _Donkey Kong Island is a big country with many diverse biomes, including tundra, taiga, coniferous forests..._ Is this some kind of joke?"

"Well, that's rude!" said King K. Rool. "I'll have you know I worked very hard on it!"

"K. Rool, I think you've finally gone nutty!" said Donkey. "How on Earth is this supposed to help you get one over on us?"

The Kremling king flashed him a broad, crooked grin. Suddenly, the parchments flew out of Diddy's hands and floated in midair, seemingly on their own. "I'll have that, dearie, if you don't mind," said Wrinkly Kong.

"Ah, Mrs. K! How lovely it is to see you—er, to see _through_ you again!" said King K. Rool, now on his feet. He walked toward Wrinkly and bowed deeply. "I've come to hand in my overdue homework, along with my apologies for being such a troublesome student."

Donkey's eyes darted rapidly from K. Rool to Wrinkly. "Yo Diddy, do you have any idea what's going on here? Donkey all confused!"

Diddy scratched his chin. "Er, come to think of it, when Dixie and I were on Crocodile Isle, Wrinkly did say she was K. Rool's old teacher. Something about reminding him to turn in his overdue homework?"

"Hush, dearies! I've just about finished grading this paper," Wrinkly said.

Donkey, Diddy, and King K. Rool watched in silence as Wrinkly slid her bony finger back and forth across the pages, muttering things like, "Hmm, his penmanship's certainly improved," or, "Ooh, he forgot to cross a T here. I'll have to take off points for that."

"Well?" K. Rool said impatiently. "Am I done here, or what?"

Wrinkly studied K. Rool's homework for a long time. "Yes, dearie, I rather think you are," she said at last. "Good job. There may be hope for you yet. But, given that your homework is over twenty-five years late, I'm afraid I can give you no more than a C."

K. Rool grimaced. "Oh Mrs. K, you always were a hard but fair grader."

Wrinkly gave a grandmotherly chuckle, and then, little bits of her ghostly figure started flaking off and drifting lazily upward, like the last few licks of a dying flame on the wick of a burned-out candle. The Kongs had seen Wrinkly poof in and out of sight countless times, but never quite like that.

"Hey, Wrinkly, what are you doing?" asked Donkey. "You look like you're fizzling out!"

"Oh, dear me! I think I'm done here too," she exclaimed. "Now that I've finally graded K. Rool's overdue homework, there's no more unfinished business binding me to this material plane."

Behind Donkey and Diddy, K. Rool smiled maliciously.

Wrinkly was almost entirely gone now. All that was left was her voice, growing fainter with every word. "If you bump into Cranky," she seemed to whisper, "tell him to stop wasting all his money on..."

And she was gone.

"On what?" Donkey shouted at the ceiling. "Tell him to stop wasting all his money on what?!"

"K. Rool, you fiend!" Diddy cried. "You made DK's mom disappear!"

"Sure did!" K. Rool said triumphantly. He returned to his desk and steepled his fingers. "And with her gone, you chumps have no one left to give you helpful hints on your ridiculous adventures. Now I'm sure to win!"

Donkey crossed his arms and looked away. "Nope, nope, nope. Wrinkly isn't really gone. I'm sure she'll be back in no time," he said.

Diddy ignored him. "Fat chance!" he said to K. Rool. "We can always look up a walkthrough!"

"Go ahead! Just try to get a signal in the middle of the jungle!" laughed K. Rool.

"How _dare_ you take my mom away!" barked Donkey, beating his chest. "K. Rool! I'm going to pound you good!"

"That doesn't matter," said Diddy, still addressing K. Rool. "If there's any trouble, we can always count on Squawks to guide the way. Right, DK?"

But Donkey wasn't listening. He'd thrown himself on his hands and knees in front of K. Rool. "Come on, old buddy, old pal," he pleaded, "there's gotta be something you can do to bring Wrinkly back. Tell ya what—we'll go halfsies on the banana hoard."

"Pathetic," K. Rool sneered. "I've heard about enough of this. Both of you get your hairy backsides off my ship—I have an island to conquer."

He reached into a compartment, pulled out a bell and gave it a little shake. As soon as he had, the temperature in the cabin seemed to drop twenty degrees. A pair of phantasmal Kremlings, Kackle and Kloak, materialized in the center of the room.

"Ah, if it isn't my favorite spooky duo," said K. Rool. "I have a job for you today, gentlemen."

Kackle and Kloak glanced at one another. "I've served ye long, yer majesty," Kackle growled. "I gave up errythin' but me bones."

"We trust ye remember yer debts," said Kloak.

K. Rool pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh, must you always be so vulgar? I told you, the check's in the mail. Now, be good ghostly pirates and show these buffoons the door!"

Kloak wrapped his spindly arms tightly around Diddy and Kackle put Donkey in a full nelson. The Kremlings then lifted the Kongs clean off the floor.

"Ugh! This freak has a killer grip," said Diddy, struggling to free himself. "Help me, DK!"

"Oh, what's the use?" Donkey said morosely, making no effort to break loose. "Life is fleeting. Our accomplishments are pointless. We are as mayflies, born only to die."

Kackle and Kloak floated out of K. Rool's cabin, let loose some ghostly laughter, and chucked the Kongs clean overboard.

Diddy came to with a face full of grit, a mouthful of brine, and very little motivation to get up and move. Meanwhile, Donkey leapt nimbly to his feet and started dusting himself off. "Welp, nothing left to do now but let go and move on, eh, little buddy?"

  


The Kremling horde continued to run rampant across Donkey Kong Island, grabbing every banana they could find. Some of the other Kongs were fighting against them in the ruins, caves, forest, and so on, but Donkey and Diddy stayed in their hut, ruminating.

"We've got to think of a way to get back at K. Rool," Donkey muttered for about the millionth time as he paced around in aimless circles.

"I'm trying, DK, I'm trying!" said Diddy, slumped lazily in his hammock.

"It's Kackle and Kloak, I tell ya," Donkey said. "Every time we manage to get on that ship, they toss us right back out again."

"And it's not like we can even stomp that Kackle guy," added Diddy. "We just pass right through!"

"That's the trouble with ghosts. They don't play by the rules!" said Donkey. "Unless..." A thought had suddenly struck him. "Hey, little buddy, didn't one of those kooks say something about a debt?" he asked.

Diddy stroked his chin. "Yeah, I think so. Sounded like K. Rool owes his muscle a bit of cash money."

Donkey snapped his fingers. "That's it! That's our ticket to victory!" he exclaimed. "Diddy! Got any Banana Coins on ya?"

"Oh, I dunno about that," Diddy said sheepishly. "I blew most of my savings on Funky's toy machine."

"Well, scrounge up as much as you can and meet me in the jungle in an hour," said Donkey. "We've got a score to settle!"

  


"This way, fellas! You're almost there!" called Squawks the parrot as he flitted over the treetops.

The Kongs were once again trudging through the labyrinthine jungle, with Donkey in the lead and Diddy following close behind. Squawks wasn't quite as good a guide as Wrinkly (shiny objects tended to distract him), but nevertheless, the Kongs were nearly to the coast.

"Hey, DK! Aren't you supposed to be the strongman? How about giving me a hand with this thing?" said Diddy, dragging a huge burlap sack of Banana Coins behind him.

"You heard the bird, Diddy. Hang on just a little longer," Donkey said.

Soon enough, the Kongs had made it to the beach. Kackle and Kloak, King K. Rool's ghoulish enforcers, were patrolling the area around the Gangplank Galleon, keeping an eye on things.

"Well blow me down, the apes are back!" said Kloak. "Oi, Kackle! Look alive!"

Kackle let out an annoyed hiss. "That be a tall order fer me, matey." He unsheathed his cutlass. "How's about I run 'em through instead?"

Donkey put up his palms and smiled nervously. "Easy, boys! We come to parlay," he said. "Here—a peace offering."

With herculean effort, Diddy swung the sack over his shoulder and threw it a foot or two in front of him. Dozens of glittering gold Banana Coins spilled out on the sand.

Kackle and Kloak came nearer and examined the coins. "Cor blimey, what's this all about?" asked Kackle, turning one over between his fingers.

"Your back pay," said Diddy. "On behalf of King K. Rool, we decided to compensate you for services rendered, plus interest!"

"But our services are mostly about chasin' yer around," said Kackle.

"Aye, and throwin' bees on top of items so ye can't get ta them," added Kloak.

"Water under the gangplank," Donkey said jovially. "The cash is yours, if you want it."

"If we want it!" Kackle chortled, already starting to sublimate into flakes of ectoplasm. "Some pirates we'd be if we turned down yer offer!"

"I take it this resolves your unfinished business?" asked Diddy, grinning ear to ear.

"That it does," Kloak replied, barely audible. "Argh... if only we could take it with us!"

And just like that, Kackle and Kloak were gone.

"That was easy," Donkey said, dusting his hands. "Hurry, Diddy—put those coins back in the bag before some other greedy Kremling comes along. There's still K. Rool to take care of."

"All right," said Diddy, "but if you think I'm lugging this thing all the way back to the house, you're dreaming!"

  


"You again?" snarled K. Rool, who'd been busy counting his newly plundered bananas when Donkey and Diddy burst into his cabin. "I thought I told those ghoulish goons to keep you out!"

He rang and rang his little bell, but his minions did not appear.

"Nothing doing, ya big oaf," Diddy said. "Ring that bell of yours all you want. DK and I already dealt with Kackle and Kloak."

"That's right," said Donkey. "It just goes to show, there's no problem on Earth that won't go away if you throw enough money at it."

"I don't believe this," K. Rool said, waving his bell even faster. "Kackle and Kloak are as loyal as they come! They'll be here any second to kick your bulbous monkey butts."

"Yep, that's denial," Diddy said, his butt thoroughly unkicked.

"He'll be getting angry next," said Donkey.

"This is an outrage!" roared K. Rool, stomping his foot like a frustrated child. "Argh, I'll have ya both skinned for this! Your furry hides will make fine rugs in my castle on Crocodile Isle!"

"Now _that_ sounds much more like the K. Rool I know!" Diddy said. 

Donkey clapped him on the back. "You know something, little dude? I missed this. I really, really did."

As the Kongs approached him menacingly, King K. Rool grabbed a nearby crate of stolen bananas. "Er, I don't suppose you're willing to go halfsies on these bad boys?"

They weren't.


End file.
